ROBOT SMALL

Well, for those of you who didn't already know this, I live in the high desert of Southern California now, in a town called L-nd-rs. All you internet perverts will never be able to find me now! Most people can't find me anyway, even if I give directions. This place really is the edge of the world. I don't even get mail delivered, our house is so far in the middle of nowhere. L-nd-rs is a weird town with weird people in it. But the people are outnumbered by the huge, intimidating jackrabbits. These crazy rabbits ate the shoelaces off John's shoes when he left them outside, and they are so hardcore, they eat cactus and spit out the spines. Just to give you a flavor of this place, I was driving to the nearest grocery store (15 miles away) to do some shopping and by the side of the road there was a sign that said, "Welcome Penis Family". Yeah. Where I live is probably so bizarre because everyone is on meth, but I choose not to believe this. I think it's the aliens. There's a big old creepy mountain called Goat Mountain right near my house. This mountain looms over me everyday, and apparently they used to have big acid parties on the top of it in the 1960's. There is a lot of UFO activity associated with Goat Mountain as well. The two guys who painted our house saw the aliens one Saturday night when they went out walking. One of them was holding out his arms screaming, "I love you! Take me with you!" L-nd-rs is also full of Christian Republicans, who for me, are more alien than the aliens. They LOVE Ivo, too. One couple saw Ivo in the Walmart parking lot (where I hang out a lot, cuz there's good cell phone reception), and came over to pay their respects. The man kept saying, "God bless you little baby! God bless you!". They got in their gold Cadillac to drive away and their license plate said, REDSTATE. Pray for me!