It started with the butterflies. We were in the yard about a month after Ivo was born, and we noticed there was a beautiful orange butterfly flitting around the yard. How exotic! How sweet! With a new baby in the house, everything seemed so adorable and new and promising. Then the butterfly got a boyfriend! AW?! Cute. They are a pair. Maybe they will have babies. They were always in the yard, making me feel like Snow White with a butterfly on my shoulder, and with my very own Grumpy Dwarf. I was showing Ivo the butterflies one day when I noticed that they were eating the vine in the yard. This was the beginning of the end. Within weeks the vine was shredded with so many tiny little holes it looked like a wedding veil. Fucking butterflies. The butterfly madness seemed to bring a wave of vermin to the house. A flood of black ants showed up and would feast on even the slightest bit of food left anywhere. If one little dish was left in the sink with a piece of anything, it was like an ant Niagara Falls. And then there is the bathroom, which John has nicknamed Spidertown. The last straw was tonight, as I was sitting very quietly nursing Ivo in the living room, a sweet little brown mouse crawled out from under the piano. How is it that a house that seemed so deluxe to live in when there are no children around, seems like a disease pit and a death trap once you have kids? And let's not even get started on the ghosts. This house is unsuitable for children. Childproofing won't even do it. It will have to be a tear-down, people. Send napalm.
1 comment:
we have a red ant infestation here, and i've recently been wondering if they aren't really some form of psycholgical warfare sent from our Red Korean Neighbors (up North) to drive us all crazy, or to rid the country of foreigners.
maybe your ants have been sent by the Canadians? :)
Post a Comment